Well, that was fast. Thirteen years of generic schooling has led me to this. Thirteen years seems like such a long time, but measured in human years, it's really not. That scares me a bit. When you think of five years down the road, you usually think of the length of time, you don't realize that each day of those five years will be a year in its own way. You don't realize how many things you'll experience, live, and learn in those few years. Time is such a figment, it really doesn't seem to have anything to do with life seeing as how life continues regardless of it. Nevertheless, that is how life is measured, by time. But, I'm slowly starting to see that life can be measured by other things as well, like your accomplishments, your failures. Even though life can be summed up differently, I believe time will have to be the best measure. It's the most discreet and forgiving, in most cases. No one has to know what you did in those five years, just that, well, it's been five years.

I have to thank God for bringing me this far, I know that I could not have done it without him. It's just so unreal as to the place I have been brought. When I was little, I had an idea of myself about what I'd be like, what I'd be doing. It's a little like I had guessed, but not much at all. See, all I paid attention to was the time that would progress, i.e. I would be in high school. I didn't think in terms of the things I would have done to get to that point in time. I know this sounds abstract, but I just realized that I view a lot of things this way. I view it by time; how long it will last, when it will be over. I hardly ever take the time to think, 'what will it be like when I'm in the moment?' It's such a strange mindset, but if one views things such as I do, one might find that a lot of things seem to pass right by. Experience isn't so much of 'living through it' as it is 'having done it'.

Now that I have come to this realization, I believe that I can now stop and think about just what it is I am doing--in this case, I will be starting a new chapter in my life. (I really dislike that phrase, but I know it's true.) If I think about college as a way of getting it done and over with, I'm afraid it will have happened without me. That's a bit like how high school was for me. I was in a daze throughout most of it, just worrying about finishing. Now that it's over, I'm glad, but by seeing the institution in that fashion, the experience was all too quick and it feels like I haven't done enough of it. Do you understand what I mean? High school is a memory for me, but I feel like I'll soon forget the experience because I never really took each day for what it was. It's like, I've got half the memory of it simply because I was rushing the time. That sucks, but I'm glad that I realized it now.

Enjoy each day for what it is and what it will bring. Yeah, you might be waiting anxiously for Saturday night but keep in mind that it will come anyway, regardless of what's going on with you. Instead, enjoy the time (or in this case, days) before the big night; they might seem minimal in comparison, but each day is its very own. If you concentrate only about Saturday, you'll only remember Saturday; later on, when you're remembering events in your life, you might just forget everything that happened prior to that Saturday.

So I hope to take this lesson and apply it to college so it doesn't pass me by like High School did. I hope that, by seeing college in this way, it will also make the experience longer than it actually is.

Random post? Maybe. But, it depends on the time.